Tag Archives: snow

crazy green snow

what do you see here? (for normal people, the answer is "crazy green snow.")

It is said that the Intuit language has 12 different words for snow. And the Zulu language in South Africa has a bunch of words for green. Apparently all that stuff is a bunch of lies. But still, the urban myth starters were onto something.

The English language should have at least 25 different words for crazy. Our culture is filled with all kinds of crazy. There is crazy like Aunt Ruth who wears her pajamas to the mayor’s luncheon, and there is crazy like when Sonny the Cuckoo Bird goes cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. There is crazy like the guy who goes to the football game dressed as a gorilla in a referee suit, and there is crazy like Jack Nicholson in the shining. There is crazy in love, and there is crazy Glen Close in Fatal Attraction. And those are just off the top of my head. There has to be 25, easy. Crazy abounds.

We need standard crazy archetypes. The crazies need to be pegged and named. It would be good for everybody. But you know who would especially appreciate it? Shrinks. Because when you’re in there lying on the leather couch, they wouldn’t have to be scribbling notes the whole time. They could just peg you in like 5 minutes, then spend the rest of the time telling you how to hide your dirty little personal issues and try to blend in with the normal people.

You know who else would love this? Our friends in the pharmaceutical industry! I bet 25 new/re-purposed meds would be on the market in a snap. There would be things like Kraemazor (for crazies like Kraemer from Seinfeld) and Lobotarol (for crazies who surf in hurricanes and try to make the Jackass highlight reel.) And police could profile suspects even better, and our world would be a safer place. Holy crap! This could be my shot at the Nobel Peace Prize…


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