Soap Suds and F Bombs


Before you read this story, I have to say that Zach is an awesome awesome kid. He is sweet. He is sensitive. He likes to fight like a ninja and spontaneously tackle his friends. Sometimes things get rowdy and out of hand, but that’s not the norm. The story below is NOT a typical day in my life. Just so ya know…

About 10 weeks ago I wrote a post about my 6 year old son Zach learning the F word. Yesterday he let his first one fly. “You big f–k!” Not at me though. He was in a rough house argument with the neighbor boys, his two closest friends.

The next thing i know, the neighbor boys and my daughter are in front of me with huge eyes and dropped jaws.

First, Max. “Zach said the F word.”

Then Tim. “Zach called me the F word.”

Then Abby, nodding fervently. “He did.”

Zach came up the stairs and barely tried to mount a defense. Poor li’l guy. He honestly thought he was going to be grounded forever. I took him upstairs and the idea struck me to wash his mouth out with soap. I’ve never done such a thing. I wasn’t that committed to the idea, but he put up zero resistance. So I put a little on his tongue,  he made a face, I gave him a towel to lick, and he went into his room for a 30 minute time out. That was his punishment. Oh and he doesn’t get dessert for 3 days and had to go over and apologize to the neighbor boys. I was kind of proud of how dadly and responsible I was. I was holding my children accountable.

Then I went on facebook and got my face shot off. well maybe it wasn’t that bad. But what I thought was a funny story to share turned out to be not-so-funny to others. Let’s see. I got booed. Booed! On the first comment! And I was publicly admonished by my mother. And then there were the astounded friends and family who literally could not believe that I could do such a horrible thing.

Not much more to the story except for the thread. In the end, Zach and I both learned the same lesson from opposite sides.  Zach got too dirty, and I got him too clean. Then we both clearly got our messages of significant disapproval. Then we both felt really guilty and decided we don’t want to ever do this again.

(here’s the facebook thread. no pics or names to protect the peeps.)

Derek Munson

A classic parenting rite of passage. Zach just dropped the f bomb and I washed his mouth out with soap. (fyi- liquid soap didn’t achieve the desired result. maybe too much lavender? it took the old fashioned bar to make him cringe.)

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Yesterday at 2:31pm · Privacy: · Like ·

  • Suzanne M., Sam, Maria C. and 4 others like this.

Boo.

Yesterday at 2:39pm · Like

 

You’re lying, Derek. You didn’t, really?

Yesterday at 2:50pm · Like

 

Hot sauce might work better. Good luck!

Yesterday at 2:59pm · Like

Derek Munson (starting to get a little concerned) i did. that’s not child abuse is it

Yesterday at 3:10pm · Like

Derek Munson and i didn’t stick the bar of soap in his mouth or anything. i just put it on his tongue for like 5 seconds till he wanted to spit it out. aw shoot now i feel bad.

Yesterday at 3:13pm · Like

 

Turning you in Munson

Yesterday at 3:16pm · Like

 

Wait until he becomes a teenager. You will here it most of the time.

Yesterday at 3:20pm · Unlike · 1 person

 

I have heard that threat spoken of many times, by many people, but I never knew anyone who carried it out… Til now! Lol! Poor Zach. xo

Yesterday at 3:37pm · Like

 

I got a bar of dial rubbed IN my teeth…. not abuse

Yesterday at 3:40pm · Like

Derek Munson i just talked to the neighbor lady and she gives her boys liquid soap, and then they have to take a swig of water and swish it around for a minute. made me feel better. 🙂

Yesterday at 4:03pm · Like · 1 person

 

Derek, if I swear Somehow i still get a little taste of Palmolive in the back corner of my mouth that takes me back and reminds that the f bomb is not appropriate, so it’s a lesson that keeps on giving…

Yesterday at 4:34pm · Like

 

Sam (owns a spicy barbecue sauce company) DUDE! Soap is not a food product! No matter who or why, it is not meant to come in contact with mucus membranes or be ingested! Hot sauce is a food product, it can produce tears and strong feelings of regret, without the toxic subtances that can be found in soaps!

Yesterday at 5:23pm · Like · 1 person

 

Lifebuoy – yuck. (A Christmas Story reference)

Yesterday at 5:34pm · Like · 1 person

 

I have made Lucy suck on a bar of Dove. I even checked with a doctor. It is fine for them. Just don’t use something like Zest.

Yesterday at 6:20pm · Like

 

(this is my mom’s post- her first scold in what? Like 20 years?) Geez Derek! I think the past three weeks have caught up with you. I’m not a fan of what you did!

Yesterday at 8:31pm · Like

 

hard core….

Yesterday at 8:40pm · Like

 

My dad did it to me but since he was the one I learned it from, it was not very effective. Plus he was cussing me out. Good ol’ days…

Yesterday at 8:52pm · Unlike · 1 person

 

You didn’t REALLY do that, did you?!

Yesterday at 9:49pm · Like

Derek Munson (unabashedly defensive) this torturous incident, along with the one spanking i’ve delivered in my 8 years of parenting, should help cement my reputation as a cruel and ruthless parent. tough love. i am willing to bet that i won’t be hearing the f word for a few years.

Yesterday at 9:49pm · Like

Derek Munson and mom! what the hay? you so don’t want to get into a public discussion about appropriate parental discipline strategies! :p

Yesterday at 9:55pm · Like · 1 person

 

(my sis) HAHAHAHA. Amen, brotha.

Yesterday at 9:59pm · Like

 

‎… but you didn’t REALLY do that, did you?!

Yesterday at 10:03pm · Like

 

Derek -I happen to know you are a great dad and you did the right thing…I remember a certain thing called a wooden spoon and I turned out ok :)…I had great parents and still do…just remember you are the dad!

Yesterday at 10:05pm · Like

Derek Munson (incredulous and tired) for real- do you guys really think the punishment outweighs the crime? my typically very sweet 6 year old boy took a swing at his friend and called him a fuck. “You big fuck!” totally not acceptable! the punishment was immediate and unprecedented as it should be. it was experiential instead of some vague conceptual thing like a time out. sheesh- it wasn’t ajax and a toilet brush. he was actually curious about it. there weren’t any tears. i just told him i had to get the dirty words off his tongue and he was fine with it. i’ve had a harder time getting him to eat his dinner.

Yesterday at 10:10pm · Like · 1 person

 

The whole concept is so bizarre to me, I can’t wrap my head around it.

Yesterday at 10:37pm · Like

 

Right on Derek! Probably 4 out of my 5 kids had a bar of soap in their mouths at least once. The dirty words are what does it. It is NOT child abuse (your Dr. confirmed it) But a way to get their attention and discourage that language. I’m behind your actions one hundred percent. I think I’ve told you in a past post, I’d love to be your kid because you play and encourage creativity. A good balance of disapline makes for an excellent dad.

23 hours ago · Like

 

tabasco!

20 hours ago · Like

 

Sam  Soap is not the answer, I don’t disagree that a punishment was deserved, but no matter who’s doctor says what, soap is not a food product. Just curious as to the credentials said doctor has and upon what he would base such a statement. “It is fine for them”?!? Better check with the FDA doc!

11 hours ago · Like · 1 person

Derek Munson sam- have you developed a hot sauce for this? i think this would be an awesome and funny product to add to your line! i bet you’d get great national press for it too. instead of mild, medium and hot, you could have bad, very bad, and whatever comes after that. maybe liquid soap flavor. 😉

10 hours ago · Like · 1 person

 

Sam It could be a money maker, it would definitely get press, bad press and hate mail. I think this is a pretty good idea. Don’t worry Derek, the challenges become even greater as they grow older! I have a 17, 15, 6, and 3 yr old boy.

9 hours ago · Unlike · 1 person

 

Soap poisoning has been well documented: http://www.youtube.com/wat​ch?v=Ktzt096mlxs

Soap… Poisoning

www.youtube.com

4 hours ago · Unlike · 1 person ·

 

Suzanne (my wife) This discussion is incredibly entertaining and worth documenting in the Munson family history . . .must be the first time that derek has ever been accused of being a hard ass.

4 hours ago · Like · 1 person

 

Where can I get my “DUDE! Soap is not a food product!” T-shirt?

4 hours ago · Unlike · 1 person

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Soap Suds and F Bombs

  1. Pingback: wtf?? | KidHeaded

  2. jay

    Considering the non-food substances I’ve seen my kids put in their mouths, I wouldn’t worry too much about a tiny bit of soap.

    • derekmunson

      thanks Jay! i just saw an article about a mom getting busted by a judge for putting hot sauce in her kid’s mouth as a punishment. i guess the hot sauce vs. soap debate needs a new option…

  3. Hi, I am doing a project for school on this. I need a little detail, did you have him stick out his tongue? Was it the bar or liquid kind and how did he react to it? Did he tell you it was bad?

    You said you spanked, how was that?

    Thanks

    • derekmunson

      Hey Sarah,
      I’m guessing your project has looong past. Sorry for the 2 month response lag 😦
      i just said “Here’s some soap for your tongue.” It was liquid soap. Neither one of us remembers much of the details. But it was very little drama- curiosity for the most part, for both of us. I remember waiting for a reaction, and then finally he wrinkled his nose and spit it out. And that was that.
      As for spanking- yes. Once. He was refusing to take a bath. Absoultely opposed. 45 minutes later, i gave him the choice. Bath or spanking. He chose spanking. Again, it was a curiosity thing on his end (no pun intended, but i wish it was…). So I spanked him. And then it was quiet for a couple seconds. Then he said “That didn’t hurt.” And then I couldn’t keep from laughing, and his mom tried to do a better job.
      Yeah- disciplining kids in these ways sucks for me. I’m not that dad. It’s way too authoritarian and it makes me feel mean.

  4. Sarah little

    Thanks for the reply, it is a thesis, so it is ongoing, and I appreciate the response. Did he tell you it was gross or anything like that? For the soap what does he remember most about it?

    Thanks

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